I have something to tell you... my mom tortures me. She does it at least once a week. And dad helps.
They both call this devious torture...a BATH, and try to make me believe it's a good thing, but I am not buying it! I know that what they are really trying to do, is make me look more like them...which means less hairy!
There is a big white tank in the little room down the hall, that is used for this weekly ritual. They fill that tank up with wet stuff and plop me in it. Then mom grabs this hissing snake from the wall that spews liquid out from it's head, and she douses me with it! I fight, I try to jump out, but dad holds me down.
Once they have me totally soaked, mom reaches for the container that holds the smelly stuff. Oh it's just dreadful, it smells like a flower. She pours this icky scented stuff all over me and tries to rub my fur off with it.
I guess it doesn't work, because after she is finished with that, she gets that snake and sprays me all over again with that VENOM! Then she grabs another container with pink stuff in it. Pink stuff...can you believe that?! It smells worse than the first batch of hair remover.
Again, she rubs it all over me, and you just know this stuff is gonna work 'cause both mom and dad are smiling, telling me how bootiful I am going to look and smell. But the pink stuff didn't really work, I still have all my fur, so I think they have finally given up. They lift me from the torture tank and wrap me a some kind of straight jacket thing.
This is how I look right after they remove me from the torture device.
I know...it's pretty sad isn't it! You can tell by the look on my face, how traumatic it has been! Notice the straight jacket!!!!!!
You'd think after all this, they would know that they can't defur the dog, but ohhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo, they still wont give up. They have a new plan...lets see if we can melt and blow the fur off the dog!! Taking aim, mom revs up a hot air gun and points it at me. I look up at dad with pleading eyes that say, please make it stop! But I know these two are in it together, and lose all hope of a reprieve, when dad turns me around to face the barrel of that gun.
After 5 minutes of assault by hot air, mom realizes, this too has failed. But, she has one more trick up her sleeve - the double clacky snipper knives! I cringe and whine softly as she cuts away my fur. When the shearing ceases, mom looks quite pleased with herself, tells me what a good boy I have been, then kisses me on the nose! I think they have accomplished their mission. I must now be completely devoid of fur.
As dad cleans up the torture chamber, eliminating any evidence of what has gone on in that room, mom picks me up and holds me in front of the big reflecting glass. At first I am frightened to look, but mom holds my chin up, and says, "Look at what a bootiful boy you are." I hazard a quick glance...and I am amazed!
This is what I see.
WOW...I still have most of my fur, I look marvellous, and ya know what...
I do smell kinda nice!
sharing with...
Merfy you are an incredibly beautiful boy. And much better behaved than a cat we had who needed a bath. Much, much better behaved.
ReplyDeleteWrite a book, this had me in laughter all the way. He is really gorgeous when all dollied up and smelling so sweet.At least we can think so. This is such a wonderful post, I loved EVERY word.
ReplyDeleteOh Merly, you look so beautiful after your bath. Try to endure your mum's ministrations stoically as the end result is awesome. Ask her to show you the last two photos on this post. Big hugs for you, Merly.
ReplyDeleteoh I needed that laugh :) He's adorable!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Karen!
ReplyDeleteHello Karen, what a cute post. Your Merfy is just adorable. Maybe next time Merfy will enjoy the bath. Happy Tuesday, enjoy your day!
ReplyDeleteyou have bEAUTIFUL blog with glorious photos .
ReplyDeletehahaha pet don't like the bath mostly ,nice interesting expressions lol
Cute post and sweet photos of an adorable doggie ~ love her! ^_^
ReplyDeleteoh my darling... one must suffer for beauty. Be happy you don't have to wear heels or a spanx
ReplyDeleteWhat a precious little fella, Karen, and I so enjoyed reading this post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the smiles! :-)
Well, I kind of like what you've done!! This was a sweet post Karen, thank you,!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Merfy, I understand why you don't like to be put into that tank of wet stuff. I won't allow my people to do it to me. I won't walk through puddles...I jump over them...and I won't go outside when the wet stuff is falling from the sky.
ReplyDeleteLove and understanding,
Bonnie-Belinda
and my mom Kay
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel
PS, my mom and dad travel, I get left with my auntie and uncle because they're afraid I will bark if I'm in a hotel room with them. Isn't that awful? I have to stay in this small town, while they have all the fun
See there? it wasn't so bad after all and you really are beautiful. I bet you got a special puppy treat too for putting up with all that trauma!
ReplyDeleteHa ha - too funny!
ReplyDeleteCute puppies.
ReplyDelete